Window of Tolerance A couples check-in

Before you begin

Enter both first names so you can each check in separately. This tool helps you both see where you are emotionally before you try to connect or talk.

No names or any other information are saved or collected. This tool is completely free to use. Nothing you enter leaves your device.
Partner one's check-in

How are you feeling right now?

Look at the three zones below. Tap the one that fits best, then say how much. There's no right answer.

Flooded or activated
Overwhelmed, anxious, angry, tearful, or racing. Hard to think clearly.
Racing heart, tight chest, urge to flee or fight, can't settle
In the window
Present, relatively calm, able to think and feel at the same time.
Can hear what's said, able to reflect, some capacity to respond
Shut down or withdrawn
Flat, numb, disconnected, very tired. Hard to find words or feelings.
Going blank, feeling far away, heavy limbs, no energy to respond
Partner two's check-in

How are you feeling right now?

Look at the three zones below. Tap the one that fits best, then say how much. There's no right answer.

Flooded or activated
Overwhelmed, anxious, angry, tearful, or racing. Hard to think clearly.
Racing heart, tight chest, urge to flee or fight, can't settle
In the window
Present, relatively calm, able to think and feel at the same time.
Can hear what's said, able to reflect, some capacity to respond
Shut down or withdrawn
Flat, numb, disconnected, very tired. Hard to find words or feelings.
Going blank, feeling far away, heavy limbs, no energy to respond

Where you both are

Here's what your check-ins showed.